love does not keep a record of wrongs

Trying to surprise somebody and make them happy is extremely difficult with a smile on your face when all they seem to do is upset you at every turn before you present them with your surprise. I wanted so dearly to make him happy, and I think I managed it in the end, but even now the tears well to my eyes because there were so many moments leading up to the surprise where I felt like I was trying to fight a current of upsetting feelings, because he was abrupt at times and/or grumpy at times from lack of sleep/hot weather/traffic/etc.. Again, maybe I need to just relax some more and not take everything so personally. But sometimes I wish he was more aware of what he's doing and/or how's he communicating.

The fact that I've written all of the above is a bit ironic, given the title of this post. But I needed to get it off my chest somehow. My morning didn't start well - I slipped over while stepping out of the shower (and now there's a nice bruise on my leg, no serious injuries thankfully), and I had a bad start to my driving test (and felt like I made a ridiculous number of mistakes) which apparently didn't affect my score that much - I passed and received my red P's which was a huge relief as I was very certain I'd failed. So emotions were riding high, I couldn't get through to him because of bad phone reception, and when I did I felt bad because he was so tired he couldn't even talk. In another phone conversation later that afternoon I asked a small favour and he got pretty exasperated over the phone, which was the kicker. I felt pretty crap after that, but forgot about it in the hope that things would be better when we met up.

Little things bother me, but only because there seems to be lots of little things all at once, which accumulate and push me to tears. I still believe I only cry out of frustration.. or empathy for somebody else (usually a Disney character of some sort), and even then that's only because they attach emotional music to the important scene!

Anyways - the summary? Lots of things bothered me today, but I don't care, because I genuinely surprised him and made him happy, and that in itself makes me feel peaceful. Love does not keep a record of wrongs, and I intend to make it that way.