haunting and precious.

"otter" this world...

Amongst other animals,

I love OTTERS.

I saw this video on a blog that I follow (http://cuteotters.com). I think it's super cute - the random otter zipping by in the background is funny too!



Awww :)

tired musings

Writing because I can't be bothered starting my tax assignment tonight. I'll get some rest, try not to get any more sick than I am (otherwise that will make me actually sick, not almost-sick), and start it in the morning.

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The funny thing?

The reason for which I dislike a handful of girls I know, actually exists within me too. Funny how you can hate somebody or have less respect for somebody because of what they do, even though you've been there yourself. I tolerate them because I'm no better than they are, and I know the kind of mindset they have; and one of the key reasons I can restrain myself is because I'm sick of fucking up my life. I really am.

Anyway.

I'm actually not depressed!

I had a wonderful day today actually. Really productive day at work, despite all the distractions, which were also a lot of fun.

Had a lovely lunch with my boyfriend at a restaurant/cafe called Rosebud. We had a sharing platter which was quite tasty, and I had an Egyptian tea with rose water and actual mint leaves in the glass. Easily the best thing I've tasted all year.

I'd like to live in Balmain. The whole area seems peaceful and friendly; there are lots of dogs being walked all the time; it's near the city but not bustling like the city; it's near the water; and it feels a little like a quiet semi-busy street in Melbourne but with better weather.

Bought a box of Belle Fleur chocolates for Mum as an early Mother's Day gift, and bought a couple for myself as a small treat. I felt that 2 chocolates was enough self-indulgence, so I shared the other 2 with my boyfriend.

The weather was also fantastic - radiant blue skies in the day, glowing full moon in clear skies at night.

What a wonderful day :)

TBTTHTMT: Egyptian mint tea with rose water. Incredible.

a bit of procrastinatory blogging.

I bought two Twix bars today and won another two free bars from their wrappers. Talk about lucky!

Maybe I was 'rewarded' for my good naturedness - my friend Melody forgot her wallet and had no money to buy lunch during our break for French, so I lent her some money and she bought a snack to tide her over.

I then decided on impulse that I would satisfy my chocolate craving with some Twix, as I love the stuff but haven't had it in a while.

On a tangent, I really enjoy my French classes. I'm not great at the speaking component, but my grammar's not too bad. And our class is good fun.

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I'm currently reading a book that is just over 200 pages, and I'm flying through it - I have less than half to go and it's only been a couple of days. Although any book would feel quick after the 800-page monster that was Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy). It might be a while before I try to attempt A Suitable Boy (Vikram Seth). I think that book's even bigger. It's one of the books in a set of 5 that I received for my birthday - all 5 books are travel-related in some way, and they cover India, France (x2), Spain and Asia (I can't remember which country). The book I'm reading now is called True Pleasures: A Memoir of Women in Paris, by Lucinda Holdforth. I like the Aussie flavour it has, because the author is a Sydneysider and she mentions USyd and Surry Hills, etc.

fun in the sun

Okay so this morning I played a bit of Gostop before I met up with my boy. I only played for 30 or 40 mins..

Lan and I drove out to Manly for a big breakfast/brunch, which turned out to be not as big as we'd hoped, but still very yummy. We also went shopping - he bought a new pair of groovy shoes, and I bought a skirt, a top and a party dress to replace my old one (finally!). When I say 'old', I'm talking around 4 years, so I think my purchase was justified . I don't buy clothes often, mostly because I can't afford to, but also mostly because there's nothing out there that particularly attracts me these days. I'm probably just looking in the wrong places.. but I'm not a hardcore shopper so I usually don't go out of my way to find awesome shops.

After brunch/shopping, to Freshie for some sun and surf with mates. The sun was harsh, but the surf was icy cold - I couldn't feel my feet after a few minutes of being in the water! Nevertheless we all had a bit of fun with a mini NFL ball until the unanimous decision was that it was too cold to stay in the water. Abort, return to towels, dry out and heat up, and then back into the water. Repeat numerous times. It was totally worth it :)

Today's beach trip was the first in a long while - the previous summer at least. And with memories of the last trip lingering in my mind I found that I was automatically afraid of the oncoming waves, no matter how small. I felt as though I didn't know what to do against them, and where I would usually dive down into the water and stay near the sand to let the waves ride over me, I felt a fear that stopped me from diving into the water at all. I didn't want to stray out too far, just incase a big wave started to break near the shore. There were only one or two medium-ish waves that I was hit by today, but even then I wanted to be clinging onto Lan's arm for safety and protection. I'm surprised that I've been so affected by the incident from last summer, but I hope that in the upcoming months I will be able to face my fear and be rid of it. Strangely enough, it wasn't until my boy and I were leaving the beach that I realised this was the beach where I'd been severely wave-dumped. So maybe it was a subconscious fear of the same mistake being made at the same beach. Maybe I'll be okay at all other beaches. I hope so.

TBTTHTMT: Big breakfast with my boy. Finally buying clothes. Soaking up plenty of sun and enjoying the sunscreen (I used to hate the stuff but now I quite like it). Spending time with old friends.. I definitely don't get to see them enough!

Lucky

Do you hear me,
Talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

-- Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat, "Lucky"

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TBTTHTMT: Thursday - Spending the awesomest day with my boy. It eclipsed my favourite moment of the year (which was when he surprised me by waiting for me at the ticket barriers at the train station when I was coming home). I hope we have many more happy days together, it just feels so good :)

let's think happy thoughts

Recently my boy bought himself an iPod Touch. I'm happy that he's happy, but I get a little depressed whenever he mentions it. I think it's a combination of jealousy, and the fact that he's just spent a couple of hundred dollars on a new toy. But I have to remind myself, it was a "I'm going to spend my first paypacket on something good" gift to himself since the new job, and he totally deserves it, so I should just shut my cakehole and let him enjoy it!

Now that I've written that out, I feel much better! Blogs are so self-helpful :)

Also, I'm trying to be a better listener and be more interested in his interests. I feel like I tried to do that tonight, and gosh it's kinda tiring, when you're interested in something simply because your love is interested. But this is making me appreciate just how wonderful he is, because he's always listened to what I have to say about my own interests, even though he might not be into whatever it is I'm talking about. In fact, one of my girlfriends told me tonight that out of all her friends' boyfriends, mine is her favourite. I feel so lucky!

Doing all of this is making me feel better about myself, and a happier me means I can make other people happier too. So I'm excited. Every time I start to feel a bit down about the relationship, I'm trying my best to avoid the negative feelings. I avoid the wallowing, and I try to take a step back and put everything in perspective. I think I'm becoming more patient in this way. It's definitely difficult to change people (particularly stubborn males!) but I guess the best thing I can do is try and change myself and hope others notice and learn to reflect on themselves more. Either that, or I learn to accept people more. I'll try for both.

TBTTHTMT: I played decent golf despite the trying conditions of rain and wind. Hopefully tomorrow's round will be equally positive if not better!

a self-challenge

I have decided that games are taking up too much of my time these days, namely Word Challenge, Pet Society and Gostop. Even admitting that Pet Society takes up my time is embarrassing. But that's a good thing I think, because that's extra incentive to change.

So, the challenge I'm proposing to myself is that I will not play games for 10 days, starting tonight - well then I should make that 10.5 days, because tonight is really only half a day. Instead, I will aim to read more, whether it's for leisure or for study, and play more piano, and maybe get creative as well (although that last point is unlikely).

Good luck to me! I don't know if I can do it but I'm hoping this public announcement will help.

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TBTTHTMT: Drawing in my special art book with Crayola crayons, and sharing in the fun moment with my boyfriend. Shame we had to get off the train before he could finish his part :(

more missed deadlines, and other things

I'm so inconsistent with my blog posts. It suggests that I spend more time away from the computer these days, but that is far from the truth. That said, I feel like I have been having at least one happy moment each day lately, and it's a good feeling. It almost feels wrong.. I expect something to go wrong, somebody to go off at me, etc. Well actually I still have people getting angry at me, but I feel like I'm able to brush it off better.. sometimes. At times I feel like it hits harder, because I'm getting used to the positive vibes.

But to get back to the point - some of the best things that have happened to me lately (hence the missed deadlines*) are: more 21st birthday parties, finally getting to experience the fun that is Guitar Hero III, finally watching the remaining episodes of The Gruen Transfer (need to start on Good News Week soon!) and watching Season 7 of Scrubs. Also, spending time with my friends at uni, even if it was mostly for group assignments (I still had loads of fun), and being more active in keeping in touch with people over Facebook. Admittedly, Facebook is not the ideal form of communication (unless your friends are overseas or interstate, and even then I suppose Skype is a better option, unless your timezones are really out of sync), but I guess it will have to do for now. And truth be told, there are lots of people you can chat to on Facebook, but in real life you wouldn't have much to say to each other. Which is strange. But when I consider that I don't use Facebook to talk to my closest friends, it makes sense (in an odd way).

*Thankfully I didn't miss any deadlines for uni assignments last week - got them all done, even if I wasn't impressed with my individual assignment. At least I can say that our group assignments went well (hope the markers think so too)!

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My boyfriend bought me a piggy bank on the weekend. It's really pretty, and the design and colours combined remind me of the playing cards from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. I wish I was good at giving presents. I think it reflects badly on me because it suggests that I don't really pay attention to people and their personalities, or what they like/enjoy.

I've openly admitted in the past that I couldn't pull together a list of the things he likes, and I used to get depressed about it. But I think I can do it now..

Sports: Manchester United.. can't remember what particular football league though (English Premier League?).. I know it's only recently started..
TV: Scrubs, The Shield, Entourage, maybe Flight of the Conchords now
Music: Lots! Some of the favourites that I can remember right now are John Legend, Ministry of Sound, Alicia Keys, Deftones, Daft Punk, Katie Noonan, Robin Thicke, Anthony Hamilton.. and various songs sung by the characters from Scrubs
Books: Eric van Lustbader (emphasis on the "lust" part) and Paulo Coelho. And he's reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins (?) at the moment..
Animals: Beagles, and I think Golden Retrievers / Russian Blues.. definitely not Chihuahuas!
Games: Street Fighter, Stacker, Tekken 5/6, Guitar Hero III, Battlefield 2142 (I don't know if that's the right number haha!), Lego Star Wars and/or Indiana Jones, Poker, Gostop and I think to a lesser extent Pet Society, Word Challenge and Diablo.
Other: Discovering new recipes in the kitchen through some culinary improvisation, inserting at least five Scrubs quotes into every conversation (give or take 2 or 3), making me laugh by doing silly things that I'm too embarrassed to do (I eventually pick up on them later), playing games/being competitive with me, finding new music that I like and haven't heard of yet (sometimes this is more difficult than you may think!), creating in-jokes together.. that's all for now.

So there's the proof. I do know something about him. :)

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Just want to keep trying, trying
Just want to keep trying for you
I want to care for you
In your darkest moment
I want to make you smile
All the time

I just want to keep trying
Trying for you..

the best thing(s) that happened yesterday

Day 2 and I've already missed the deadline. Oops.

The best thing about yesterday was bumping into mates from primary school in JB. That, and not losing my phone during the day! Dani & I were running across the oval at uni towards Maccas, and I didn't notice that my phone had fallen out of my pocket. It wasn't until we were finishing our meal and I was about to call my boy, that I realised I no longer had my phone. Luckily I'd changed the settings from silent to ringtone, and we found my phone lying on the grass, sunbaking away. Another lucky escape for me.. don't know what I would have done if I'd lost my phone!

Today is another day to look forward to. Yay!

the best thing that happened to me today

I have two websites to thank for this inspiration: theSCOOP for writing about Princess Lasertron, and Princess Lasertron for writing about a memory from her childhood.

In an effort to be more positive about life and my daily experiences, I'm going to try and write about the best thing that happened to me today, every day.

So, let's begin with the weekend that has just passed, because it was a pretty fun couple of days!

Friday: The best things about today were hanging out with Dani during the day and going to Ramtin's 21st at night. I had so much fun with Dani playing DS, browsing Domayne and then having a once-in-a-lifetime Krispy Kremes feast of 6 donuts and large milkshakes! Although we only managed to finish a donut each by the time we left the store. Ramtin's 21st was great, it was so nice being out near the beach, although the weather was terribly windy and cold and wet, which wasn't so fun. That was ok though, we were all hanging out in an underground bar and having a cosy time indoors!

Saturday: Putting some eyeshadow on my face all by myself! Makes me sound juvenile, but for somebody who has never really had much interest in makeup, this is a great achievement. I don't think it looked particularly amazing, but it didn't look horrible either, so I was happy about that! Although this was probably not THE best thing of the day. The best thing was two of my girlfriends having a joint 21st. It was so much fun! I was able to catch up with loads of high school friends I'd missed for ages, and I laughed and chatted the evening away with my man at my side.

Sunday (i.e. today): I was able to sleep in until 1pm, after getting home at 1.30am from my friends' 21st party. I feel like I don't get enough sleep these days, for whatever reason, so it was a much welcomed deviation from the norm!

The best thing about my life overall is the love I have in my life. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm so glad we're together. :)