When I close my eyes
I can almost taste you
I can't face you
You're still too strong
And it's no surprise
I can't erase you
I tried to replace you
But it all went wrong
'Cause seeds don't crawl off the mountain
And they don't fall, fall from the tree
And they don't drop, not when you're counting
Or maybe that's my sweet philosophy
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Mmm...
When I close my eyes
I dream about you
Tell me how to
Tell me how not to
Grab on to something new
I looked my fate past through
But instead I keep on holding on
I keep holding on
When I close my eyes
I think about you
I just can't let you go
Oh, oh, oh, yeah
---
A light, dreamy song.. makes me feel good.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
twenty-four hours of disgruntledness
The past night and day has been exhausting.
- I had a conversation with one of my friends (who is effectively also a mentor) that made me feel like a bit of a failure simply because I wasn't going to take action on a recommendation of theirs. No hard feelings - I know they only mean the best for me, and I always appreciate what they say. But it was just one sentence that cut me down and made me feel inadequate.
- Slept badly. Kept waking up through the night because of the lantern lights I'd left on in my room.
- I realised that the JR Fete is only 4 weeks away and I need to get on top of my merchandise-making activities if I'm going to have ANYTHING to sell as part of my own stall. I'm such an idiot. This provided me with the greatest amount of stress today.
- No I take that back. I had frustrating arguments with my dad to make me want to go ballistic. However I'm well versed in the art of self-restraint, and did no such thing. The only moment at which I let myself go was when I snapped a ballpoint pen in half. Had I not done that, my brain would have probably exploded and caused a lot of pain.
- Working with a million constraints, half of which shouldn't really exist, and WOULDN'T exist if people were more flexible. I think I managed to get through the day okay, but I'm glad it's almost over.
Rant of the day:
I have nothing against arguments, and I would even go so far as to say I'm generally even-tempered in reasonable arguments. The only time I will get annoyed and frustrated to the point of explosion, is when the other party refuses to hear your side of the argument, or picks on you for something completely unrelated to the topic at hand, or misinterprets/twists your words and refuses to hear an explanation. Not giving people a fair go is the worst thing anybody can do. It's like revoking freedom. Nobody should be subject to that unless they've committed a heinous crime.
< / rant>
- I had a conversation with one of my friends (who is effectively also a mentor) that made me feel like a bit of a failure simply because I wasn't going to take action on a recommendation of theirs. No hard feelings - I know they only mean the best for me, and I always appreciate what they say. But it was just one sentence that cut me down and made me feel inadequate.
- Slept badly. Kept waking up through the night because of the lantern lights I'd left on in my room.
- I realised that the JR Fete is only 4 weeks away and I need to get on top of my merchandise-making activities if I'm going to have ANYTHING to sell as part of my own stall. I'm such an idiot. This provided me with the greatest amount of stress today.
- No I take that back. I had frustrating arguments with my dad to make me want to go ballistic. However I'm well versed in the art of self-restraint, and did no such thing. The only moment at which I let myself go was when I snapped a ballpoint pen in half. Had I not done that, my brain would have probably exploded and caused a lot of pain.
- Working with a million constraints, half of which shouldn't really exist, and WOULDN'T exist if people were more flexible. I think I managed to get through the day okay, but I'm glad it's almost over.
Rant of the day:
I have nothing against arguments, and I would even go so far as to say I'm generally even-tempered in reasonable arguments. The only time I will get annoyed and frustrated to the point of explosion, is when the other party refuses to hear your side of the argument, or picks on you for something completely unrelated to the topic at hand, or misinterprets/twists your words and refuses to hear an explanation. Not giving people a fair go is the worst thing anybody can do. It's like revoking freedom. Nobody should be subject to that unless they've committed a heinous crime.
< / rant>
Sunday, February 22, 2009
continuing disbeliefs.
I still can't believe that..
- I'm 21.
- I saw KanYe West perform live in Sydney last year.
- I saw Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson live this year.
- I'm potentially going to be seeing Angelique Kidjo & Ayo at the Opera House. And..
- I'm going to see Ben Harper in April.
BEN HARPER.
I'M GOING TO SEE BEN HARPER.
HOLY PENGUIN!
- I'm 21.
- I saw KanYe West perform live in Sydney last year.
- I saw Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson live this year.
- I'm potentially going to be seeing Angelique Kidjo & Ayo at the Opera House. And..
- I'm going to see Ben Harper in April.
BEN HARPER.
I'M GOING TO SEE BEN HARPER.
HOLY PENGUIN!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Younha
Earlier this year I discovered Younha while watching a Korean TV show.. and she sings beautifully live! And she's really cute too. Turns out she's the same age as me (i.e. born in '88).. I wish I could sing as well as her!
She piqued my interest so I decided I'd search for some of her music on YouTube. I really like her style, hopefully I'll be able to get my hands on her album(s)..
Hope you like the vids!
This music vid is cute in content, and funny too:
I originally wasn't going to post this one, but the bass player is really awesome and the piano has her name on it!
She piqued my interest so I decided I'd search for some of her music on YouTube. I really like her style, hopefully I'll be able to get my hands on her album(s)..
Hope you like the vids!
This music vid is cute in content, and funny too:
I originally wasn't going to post this one, but the bass player is really awesome and the piano has her name on it!
the honest truth
I cannot tell you what the future will be like.
I do not know what will happen.
But I'm taking each day as it comes.
And that's the best I can do.
I do not know what will happen.
But I'm taking each day as it comes.
And that's the best I can do.
Monday, February 16, 2009
alicia keys - butterflyz
Lately when I look into your eyes I realise
You're the only one I need in my life
Baby I just don't know how to describe
How lovely you made me feel inside
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
It seems like the light you give
From the start you told me I would be your queen
But never had I imagined such a feeling
Joy is what you bring
I want to give you everything
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control these butterflyz
You and I are destiny
I know now you were made for me**
Oh oh ooh
I can't control it
It's driving me
Taking me over
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
**This is the most beautiful part in the song. The words reach out and stretch across space with pure ecstasy.
You're the only one I need in my life
Baby I just don't know how to describe
How lovely you made me feel inside
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
It seems like the light you give
From the start you told me I would be your queen
But never had I imagined such a feeling
Joy is what you bring
I want to give you everything
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control these butterflyz
You and I are destiny
I know now you were made for me**
Oh oh ooh
I can't control it
It's driving me
Taking me over
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
**This is the most beautiful part in the song. The words reach out and stretch across space with pure ecstasy.
last night..
..I couldn't sleep, so I plugged myself into some Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds on my phone's Walkman.
As a result I kept waking up periodically throughout the night to random songs from the Live at Radio City album. I also woke up earlier than what has been usual recently. (Apologies for terrible grammar of previous sentence.)
Despite this, I appear to have slept well. No dreams to tire me out, and I don't feel tired right now. That said, I am also enjoying the relative silence of my room after a night's worth of music.
On a musical tangent, towards the end of last night I was listening to Tiken Jah Fakoly. What a great band! I recommend them if you're into the ska/reggae style of sound.
As a result I kept waking up periodically throughout the night to random songs from the Live at Radio City album. I also woke up earlier than what has been usual recently. (Apologies for terrible grammar of previous sentence.)
Despite this, I appear to have slept well. No dreams to tire me out, and I don't feel tired right now. That said, I am also enjoying the relative silence of my room after a night's worth of music.
On a musical tangent, towards the end of last night I was listening to Tiken Jah Fakoly. What a great band! I recommend them if you're into the ska/reggae style of sound.
Friday, February 13, 2009
take me home, country roads..
I have an album. It's called "John Denver's Greatest Hits". It was one of the few albums I listened to while growing up (some others included two Girlfriend albums).
I don't know what it is about the music, but this album really makes me feel so warm and beautifully happy from the inside. I feel as though I'm glowing with happiness and no amount of wide grinning can accurately reflect it.
The songs on this album are generally peaceful and soothing. The slight country twang in the background makes me think of golden pastures in the American outback, and there's a hint of homesickness in the songs, a wistfulness that brings out a reminiscent frame of mind in me.
Looks like I'll have to dig out my Simon & Garfunkel, and The Carpenters too..
This is one of the happiest, loving songs on the album in my opinion:
John Denver - For Baby (For Bobbie)
I'll walk in the rain by your side,
I'll cling to the warmth of your hand,
I'll do anything to keep you satisfied
I'll love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me
little birds will sing along in time,
leaves will bow down when you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
I'll be there when you're feelin down
to kiss away the tears that you cry,
I'll share whith you all the happiness I've found
a reflection of the love in your eyes.
And I'll sing you the songs of the rainbow,
I'll whisper of the joy that is mine
and leaves will bow down when you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
I'll walk in the rain by your side,
I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand,
I'll do anything to help you understand
I love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me
little birds will sing along in time,
leaves will bow down when you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
I don't know what it is about the music, but this album really makes me feel so warm and beautifully happy from the inside. I feel as though I'm glowing with happiness and no amount of wide grinning can accurately reflect it.
The songs on this album are generally peaceful and soothing. The slight country twang in the background makes me think of golden pastures in the American outback, and there's a hint of homesickness in the songs, a wistfulness that brings out a reminiscent frame of mind in me.
Looks like I'll have to dig out my Simon & Garfunkel, and The Carpenters too..
This is one of the happiest, loving songs on the album in my opinion:
John Denver - For Baby (For Bobbie)
I'll walk in the rain by your side,
I'll cling to the warmth of your hand,
I'll do anything to keep you satisfied
I'll love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me
little birds will sing along in time,
leaves will bow down when you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
I'll be there when you're feelin down
to kiss away the tears that you cry,
I'll share whith you all the happiness I've found
a reflection of the love in your eyes.
And I'll sing you the songs of the rainbow,
I'll whisper of the joy that is mine
and leaves will bow down when you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
I'll walk in the rain by your side,
I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand,
I'll do anything to help you understand
I love you more than anybody can.
And the wind will whisper your name to me
little birds will sing along in time,
leaves will bow down when you walk by
and morning bells will chime.
a brief catch-up.
Referring to my previous post, I remember the incident but I have no recollection of the dream I had. Must have been a good one.
Some things that have happened since I last wrote:
- I vowed to cease all attempts at communication with a person who once used to be my closest confidant. I'm so detached now that it doesn't bother me at all, and I prefer not to think about it. Previously this would not have been in my character - I hate losing contact with people and I don't like to hate people either. But life changes, and so do you, and decisions must be made. So I'm not going to bother with trying to contact him ever again. The day for change will be if he ever tries to get in touch with me first. I doubt he'll ever bother.
- On the bright side, I made a new friend recently who I really enjoy talking to. We seem to have a lot in common, but we also have different interests which keeps the conversations filled with variety. I think the best thing is that he writes as much as I do.. I don't know anybody else that can do that on a regular basis!
- I've started talking to an old friend more often than I have in the last couple of years. Ironically while he's overseas! But it's good. Things can only get better from here.
- I turned 21. I still don't think of myself as being 21 - I don't attribute myself with any particular age. I just am. Yes it all sounds very philosophical and what-not, but I feel like I'm constantly doing something, and I haven't had the time (or maybe I just haven't given myself the time) to think about being 21 and what that means. Apparently I'm now well and truly an adult - that's scary.
- I feel secure and happy in my relationship. I've never felt so content and at ease about this before. But these days I feel love, and yet I feel so helpless at the same time. My boyfriend seems to be going through a rough patch.. and it feels like it's lasted for months. It bothers me that I can't seem to cheer him up enough for him to try and take a more positive approach to it all. Strangely it reminds me of the person I think I used to be, and the reason I've changed now is because I don't give myself time to dwell on the bad stuff. Either that or I contemplate it so much that I desensitize myself and am able handle the problem better.
- I've started reading on a regular basis again. I can't express how this makes me feel, but it's a lovely feeling to lose yourself in a book that you really enjoy.
Emotions are confusing sometimes, and love can be trying. But when you're loyal, you're loyal. You block out everything else, for better or for worse, and you're in it for the long haul. Perhaps an unromantic way of saying "I love you", but there, I said it.
Some things that have happened since I last wrote:
- I vowed to cease all attempts at communication with a person who once used to be my closest confidant. I'm so detached now that it doesn't bother me at all, and I prefer not to think about it. Previously this would not have been in my character - I hate losing contact with people and I don't like to hate people either. But life changes, and so do you, and decisions must be made. So I'm not going to bother with trying to contact him ever again. The day for change will be if he ever tries to get in touch with me first. I doubt he'll ever bother.
- On the bright side, I made a new friend recently who I really enjoy talking to. We seem to have a lot in common, but we also have different interests which keeps the conversations filled with variety. I think the best thing is that he writes as much as I do.. I don't know anybody else that can do that on a regular basis!
- I've started talking to an old friend more often than I have in the last couple of years. Ironically while he's overseas! But it's good. Things can only get better from here.
- I turned 21. I still don't think of myself as being 21 - I don't attribute myself with any particular age. I just am. Yes it all sounds very philosophical and what-not, but I feel like I'm constantly doing something, and I haven't had the time (or maybe I just haven't given myself the time) to think about being 21 and what that means. Apparently I'm now well and truly an adult - that's scary.
- I feel secure and happy in my relationship. I've never felt so content and at ease about this before. But these days I feel love, and yet I feel so helpless at the same time. My boyfriend seems to be going through a rough patch.. and it feels like it's lasted for months. It bothers me that I can't seem to cheer him up enough for him to try and take a more positive approach to it all. Strangely it reminds me of the person I think I used to be, and the reason I've changed now is because I don't give myself time to dwell on the bad stuff. Either that or I contemplate it so much that I desensitize myself and am able handle the problem better.
- I've started reading on a regular basis again. I can't express how this makes me feel, but it's a lovely feeling to lose yourself in a book that you really enjoy.
Emotions are confusing sometimes, and love can be trying. But when you're loyal, you're loyal. You block out everything else, for better or for worse, and you're in it for the long haul. Perhaps an unromantic way of saying "I love you", but there, I said it.
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