unbearable

I want to scream.

I think of you, and I think of the fun you're having, and I think of the girl you're with, even though I know there's nothing going on between you two because she has her own boytoy she's seeing.

Or at least I believe that there's nothing going on between you two.

I think of you, and I think of the fun you're having, and I want to throw my phone at the wall so hard that it breaks with a single throw.

I want to tear it up. Something. Anything.

You bring out a neediness in me that frustrates me. I can't think of anything else until you're back. You distract me even when you're gone. It shits me up the wall.

I just want to break something. My fingers. My head. My heart.

I want to call you. But I have nothing nice to say, except that I miss you and I wish you were here. I fill the conversation gaps with bitter words. You bring out the worst in me. I can't get rid of the pain I'm feeling right now so I can't let you get away.

I call you. And I mope. And I cry.

I can't do anything with you here, and I can't do anything without you here.

I need to talk to somebody about my problem. But my head doesn't seek anybody but you. But you are my problem, so I can't do anything about it.

I can't believe you didn't tell me before I found out.

You fucking dickhead. I hate you for having this effect on me.