strength.

I've been hosting my own little experiment lately - I've asked my friends to choose a song for me. Perhaps it reminds them of something we did together, or they think the song represents me in some way, or they think that I would like a particular song. It doesn't matter why they choose it, but telling me the reason for their choice is a bonus to me.

And today I received a not from a friend, who quoted 4 songs for me. I knew the artists but I didn't know the songs (except for one, who I didn't know at all), so I visited YouTube to see and hear the songs.

I felt a bit brighter afterwards. Jen reminded me of the person who I think I used to be. Perhaps I'm still the same, but my circumstances have brought out another side of me that my previous environment, i.e. high school, didn't really call for.

This is probably the second time that a feeling of reconnection has built up inside of me - I mean, a reconnection to the 'old' me. The feeling that I used to be stronger, and more vibrant, and the belief that I can still be that person again, if only I let myself.

I don't really understand why I cling to old memories so much. Like how I've just been reunited (via Facebook) with primary school friends whom I haven't seen since Year 1 or 2, and how I have a habit of searching through high school photos for a good display picture of me, when really, those days are at least 2 years old and not reflective of who I am now.

And now, time for a mini rant, because I've just been reminded of it:

I don't like prissy people. People who are constantly very showy, posting blogs about how they only spent $300 on clothes this weekend, or how they haven't been out on a Friday night for the last two weeks, ohmygoodness what a tragedy. Get over yourself. Do something better with your time and money.

I'm sick of seeing your pouted lips, the left side of your face, your oversized designer sunglasses, the deliberately widened eyes to try and beautify yourself that little bit more. Why don't you take some more relaxed photos, I've seen your jawline and your collarbone and your slimmed waist enough times. I'd love to see you take some more friendly photos, casual snaps - stop being such a poser. I liked you better when you weren't such a priss.

Maybe I'm just bitter.

I'm pretty stubborn, and don't like change most of the time. That's something I'm trying to fix though - I want to embrace change, take them as challenges, tackle them head-on, instead of moping and moaning about them.

I'm sick of being a pessimist.

I'm trying for no more tears, no more fears.