a brief catch-up.

Referring to my previous post, I remember the incident but I have no recollection of the dream I had. Must have been a good one.

Some things that have happened since I last wrote:

- I vowed to cease all attempts at communication with a person who once used to be my closest confidant. I'm so detached now that it doesn't bother me at all, and I prefer not to think about it. Previously this would not have been in my character - I hate losing contact with people and I don't like to hate people either. But life changes, and so do you, and decisions must be made. So I'm not going to bother with trying to contact him ever again. The day for change will be if he ever tries to get in touch with me first. I doubt he'll ever bother.

- On the bright side, I made a new friend recently who I really enjoy talking to. We seem to have a lot in common, but we also have different interests which keeps the conversations filled with variety. I think the best thing is that he writes as much as I do.. I don't know anybody else that can do that on a regular basis!

- I've started talking to an old friend more often than I have in the last couple of years. Ironically while he's overseas! But it's good. Things can only get better from here.

- I turned 21. I still don't think of myself as being 21 - I don't attribute myself with any particular age. I just am. Yes it all sounds very philosophical and what-not, but I feel like I'm constantly doing something, and I haven't had the time (or maybe I just haven't given myself the time) to think about being 21 and what that means. Apparently I'm now well and truly an adult - that's scary.

- I feel secure and happy in my relationship. I've never felt so content and at ease about this before. But these days I feel love, and yet I feel so helpless at the same time. My boyfriend seems to be going through a rough patch.. and it feels like it's lasted for months. It bothers me that I can't seem to cheer him up enough for him to try and take a more positive approach to it all. Strangely it reminds me of the person I think I used to be, and the reason I've changed now is because I don't give myself time to dwell on the bad stuff. Either that or I contemplate it so much that I desensitize myself and am able handle the problem better.

- I've started reading on a regular basis again. I can't express how this makes me feel, but it's a lovely feeling to lose yourself in a book that you really enjoy.


Emotions are confusing sometimes, and love can be trying. But when you're loyal, you're loyal. You block out everything else, for better or for worse, and you're in it for the long haul. Perhaps an unromantic way of saying "I love you", but there, I said it.