peacefully musing

Life is so unusual, but most of all it's quick!

Spend your whiles in lots of smiles, and then you won't fall sick.

Little ditties such as these can help the days go by

When you feel you've lost your wings and forgotten how to fly.

I haven't written anything in a long while, be it on this blog, or in my personal handwritten journal, or even in long, rambling emails to my boyfriend.

There's been so much that's happened in the last couple of months, and I feel like I'm moving forward (slowly, but surely) into the rest of my life. Mixed with feelings of "Wow... here comes the rest of my life... the end is certainly not far off into the distance...", it's a little bittersweet. Like the feeling of winning, but knowing that all will be lost soon enough anyway.

But enough of the morbidity!

I'm starting to feel that I'm losing my creative edge. Not that I think I had much of a creative edge to begin with, but for months and maybe years now I've had a little voice in my head that's wanted to grow that little blossom of creativity. To nurture it, water it, give it some air and sunshine, and yield fruit from it. Sadly I haven't given myself much of a chance, and maybe I just haven't got enough of an experimental bone in me to try different media. Well not only that, but developing a collection of mixed media can be rather expensive too.

Recently I purchased some small leather-bound notepads. I don't think they're bound with real leather, but that's ok - it's the visual cue that counts. I haven't finished my current journal yet, so I'll need to get writing before I give myself the privilege of writing, sketching and collecting in a brand new notebook, which will be a new experience (I mostly wrote reams of mundane daily recounts in all of my previous journals). I'm looking forward to it!

just because

Like golden honey you're so sweet,

I hate to leave and love to meet.

You're my precious, but I'm no Hobbit,

This rhyme's not bad but I should stop it :)

good luck for the exam

A little kiss for the mighty student.

For now, all the best,

So that later you can rest.

Minha Musa.

4E&2D

my favourite quote of the moment.

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."

- Pablo Neruda, excerpt from "Sonnet XVII"

life and beyond

I won't lie. I'm scared of dying. The fear has a way of gripping me suddenly, the realisation smacking me in the head like a bucket of ice-cold water being thrown at your face.

Tonight I've been listening to some acoustic tunes - the album 'Dead Wood Falls' by Jen Cloher & The Endless Sea, and now I'm listening to 'Fall & Winter' by Jon Foreman. Both really good albums and I've never given them a proper listen until tonight.

This song just played then, and the lyrics struck me. I'm in an oddly emotional state at the moment so the music had a profound effect on me as it played out its melody.

I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you
When you're gone
She says, I love you
I'm gonna miss you
And your songs

And I said, please
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how
Every living thing goes away
She said, friend

All along I thought
I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die

Hey everyone
I've got nowhere to go
The grave is lazing me
He takes our body slow

And I said, please
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how
Every living thing goes away
I said, friend,
All along I thought
I was learning how to take

How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die
Die, die
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die

- Jon Foreman, 'Learning How To Die'

springtime

Looking back and contemplating the ebb and flow of my emotions, it seems that the start of spring (September) has become a time of reflection and nostalgia. Certain songs and musicians evoke memories of yesteryear, moments locked in time, out of reach but still alive in memory.

For example - last week I was listening to "Boa Sorte (Good Luck)" by Vanessa da Mata and Ben Harper, and it threw me back in time, to the days and weeks prior to my current relationship. The sense of wonder and excitement, fear and the "what-if" factor... emotions that last only as long as the courtship. But I think they're important emotions. They help me remember how I felt when I first started to fall in love. They remind me how I got here, and the memories make me smile.

Currently I'm listening to Dave Matthews and was briefly lost in a moment of nostalgia about my friendship with Scott, because he's the one who introduced me to the music. And let's face it, sometimes I am completely besotted with the musical persona of Dave Matthews, illustrated through his music and lyrics. So this music wields a lot of emotional clout, and I have Scott to thank for it.

Rise and fall, roads divided, connections discovered, uncovered, and lost.

"Tolerance is the only real test of civilization."

- Arthur Helps

blue-oo-oo