because i don't know what to do

Do you ever feel lonely sometimes? And you don't really know what you want to do at that particular moment. Nothing really interests you or motivates you, or you want to do something but you don't know how. Or you want to talk to that somebody who is special to you, but you hold yourself back, knowing or feeling that you mean nothing to them so why intrude on their peace, just because you're feeling needy right now.

..Wow. That actually made me feel a bit better.



I don't write on here much anymore. I guess that means I've either grown lazy, or I've run out of time and this is not a priority in my life, or I've had enough of self-therapy hidden in a blog's clothing. Because this blog has nothing on the political, tech-related, informational and educational sites out there. Nobody reads this (to my knowledge) and that doesn't bother me one bit. I guess I just enjoy typing for something other than emails and work and Facebook posts.. and this isn't something I keep saved on my computer in a word document or anything like that, so it can't really be 'accidentally' come across.. heck, it's on the world wide web.


Time for a check on myself again.

What am I passionate about? The Dave Matthews Band. And Ben Harper. I definitely feel like Harper is my homeboy. I don't really know what 'homeboy' means, but it sounds cool, and to me it has the meaning of somebody I look up to and respect, in an almost idolising way (I say 'almost', because I don't think he's a god).

I enjoy good music. My definition of good music isn't restricted to a single style of music. Sometimes I am whisked away to another plane by Classical; I close my eyes and take in melodic chords and dischords of grand orchestras, choirs, and beautifully lyrical soloists, be it instrumental or vocal. Or maybe I'm having a ball listening to Jazz; madly tapping my foot to a big band tune, singing along to a jazz standard I've grown to know and love, or swaying along to a soft Latin-style jazz tune.

Good music is also found in a Hip-hop or Rock fashion; catchy riffs and chorus lines get me up and about, dancing like a rocker or a hip-hopper in the comfort of my room. Or perhaps it's a more emotional R&B or Alternative tune, something I can relate to and gain new energy from.

Funny how you can love something you don't understand. There is so much good music sung in languages foreign to me. You can sometimes find me lost in another world, enveloped in a melody from a country where English is not the mother tongue.


I think I'm more introvert than extrovert. People probably think the opposite, but that's because I can be really upbeat and happy around people I've begun to get along with. But that's precisely it. I don't often go up to somebody before they come up to me.. or at least I think that's what I do.


Time for bed. Sleep will make me feel better.